W11 - August 25th, 2009

August 25

Back to reality. Woke up this morning extremely tired after last night’s journey. Got up at 7, when hubby's alarm went off, but stayed in bed until 9. It’s rough I know. Then got up, had a banana, checked my emails, made my grocery list, applied for a PR agency job that sounded lame and went to the gym to meet with my trainer. He of course asked what the hell happened to my bangs – well, what he said was, “ Who did that to you?” Thanks. OH I haven’t mentioned yet about my bangs. Or FRINGE as they say here. I’ll keep it short. (no pun intended!) Basically have had bangs for the last 9 years and last Thursday I got my first bad trim! My gayer than springtime Eastern European stylist (if you could call him that) sporting a Christian Siriano haircut (pictured to the right), told me he was making me “much more fashionable” as he snipped away. I asked for them to hit/cover my eyebrows and they are well above. AND they are cut all the way around my face! No offense to our Asian friends out there (love ya to pieces), but I look like a Chinese man with a bowl cut. OR like some groupy girl in the underground music scene in Chicago a la 1994. Totally High Fidelity and not in a good way. There I’ve said my peace. I cried and got very angry and have had to work my outfits around my fucking bangs ever since!

ANYWAY, after my workout, went to Tesco on Portobello road, which is always my hell on earth. Then went to Mr Christians to get some turkey breast for lunch, but they didn’t have any. NIGHTMARE. Decided to check out Daylesford. Daylesford, DID NOT have turkey breast either. UGHGHGH! SO then, of course, I had to get ham which is COVERED in fat. I mean how hard is it to be a deli and have normal every day turkey breast.? I have to say, this is one thing that REALLY bothers me about London. Stores constantly seem to be out of things. And not like strange request things. Like Tesco is ALWAYS out of everything. They are a MAJOR supermarket chain. Who does’t restock? AND who doesn’t know by now how much stock they’re going to need for a full day in that area? Or week or whatever? I came home all in a huff that I couldn’t find simple turkey breast and then, while getting the bread out of the freezer, SLAMMED my middle finger in the door and started bleeding. MELT DOWN! Crying, screaming, bandaids, bloodied papertowels ensued. MAYBE…it wasn’t just because of my finger and the stupid turkey breast. Maybe I’m just BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND! I feel pretty useless and stupid and useless and lame. I have NO reason to dress up anymore, except for my bangs. And the occasional interview. This leads me to my next meltodwn worthy gripe. People think that I’m like qualified for greatness since on paper I look kinda impressive. I know nobody likes a showoff. But I do. I’ve worked for two amazing fashion houses and have seemingly done a lot. But I KINDA feel like I have just coasted by. I really wouldn’t know the first thing how to put a PR strategy together or how to actually GET editors to credit my stuff, unless I already worked for a company that people want to put in their magazines anyway. So I go to these interviews, and I get all these scary HR type of questions like, ‘Give me an example of how you implemented a PR strategy and the conclusions start to finish.” UHHH I MEAN WHAT!? I got an email from an editor asking for some sweaters for a cardigan story. I sent them over and three months later they were in the Octboer issue of Marie Claire. Is that good? Like I could not be more retarded. And the thing is, I don’t really care. Like I don’t CARE about being some AMAZING PR diva. I don’t want to run my own department one day. I just want to go to a nice place everyday, talk to fun people and maybe try on some clothes. Is that so much to ask?